Much was made about Rick Warren being the minister to deliver the invocation at Obama’s inauguration. He is against gay marriage and used the name of Jesus in the invocation. I think this was actually a good thing. I don’t agree with him; I don’t believe Jesus was the son of God and my rabbi permits gay marriage.

I think that we have actually improved the separation of church and state by recognizing that people of various faiths don’t have to agree on their religious beliefs, so long as we can all participate in our democracy.

In similar but far less tragic news, a trendy floor lamp that was one of our major home decorating purchases when we lived in that area came crashing down this morning. The joint between the base and the rest of the lamp gave out after years of use (although it probably wasn’t made strong enough to start).

All of this just after my daughter turned 5. So we are officially middle-aged, not young.

I am glad we put fairly large ceiling lights on dimmers in the kids rooms (where we most recently had that lamp) when we moved into the house. It was exactly for this eventuality - I didn’t want to rely on portable lamps that break, have cords that are a safety issue, etc., either to make the room bright enough, or to make it dim enough for putting kids to bed. This is not the first time I’ve had a floor lamp break in a similar manner.

I will try to add pictures and links later if I get to it.

He was a true con man, because he had investors’ confidence. There are two ways to make decisions: either you have evidence to make a rational, scientific decision; or you rely on instinct and trust. The hard part is that you rarely can gather enough evidence to make a scientific decision on your own; especially in complicated, important decisions. Gadflies abound who tell us any successful corporation, drug, zoning change, or other powerful person will ruin our economy/enviroment/health, so what’s to say Madoff’s critics weren’t just jealous competitors?

Maybe we need look at how so many Jewish investors were defrauded. Being Jewish doesn’t give you any special power with money. Let me repeat this: Being Jewish doesn’t give you any special power with money. Nefarious stereotypes aside, I suspect these investors simply placed their confidence in a fellow Jew. Even more likely, they placed their confidence not just in Madoff, but in the fact that investors like themselves (in certain Jewish social circles) trusted him. People misplace trust like this constantly–how many people believe that asking a friend, neighbor or co-worker is the best way to find a plumber or a dentist? I think this is confusing general trustworthiness with whom to trust for a specific decision. You might give someone the key to your house, but should you trust them over your doctor for medical advice?

I’m not sure what would have helped Madoff’s investors, but the rest of us should remember to trust what we hear but also get the facts.

It think we’ve all been getting these sorts of memos at work lately, and I recently got one from my alma mater. So, I decided to write one of my own. I figure someone’s going to leak it to the blogosphere anyway, so I’ll just post it here in the first place.

TO: Stober Family Members, Newton Highlands Branch

FROM: Marc Stober, Chief Operating Officer

DATE: November 21, 2008

SUBJECT: The Financial Crisis

With the recent news on Wall Street, I have been hearing many concerns about our organization’s situation and wanted to take this opportunity to detail what we are doing from the top.

First, there will be no layoffs.

As you know, we are operating at a deficit this year, due to extraordinary child care and preschool expenses. It is important to note that this is unrelated to the general financial crisis, and these expenses are fully funded through school year 2008-9.

In terms of recurring revenue, our employers have indicated that they are committed to continuing at present levels on a monthly basis. However, they are also facing pressure, and, based on our discussions with them, we are budgeting for a significantly smaller increase in revenue compared to what we have seen in recent years.

At present, our greatest exposure is highly leveraged real estate debt used to purchase our primary residence. While related debt service is our largest recurring expense, the good news is that this is a fixed expense that will not increase until at least 2013. We believe our investment is fundamentally sound, and will achieve long-term growth while continuing to provide immediate benefits through use of the underlying assets, regardless of the current market.

Our extended family’s long history of continuous operation through difficult times–including the Great Depression–gives us the strength to navigate in the present climate. However, in light of the global financial situation, there are some measures we are taking to cut back expenses. We feel these measures are prudent to preserve cash flow in the face of uncertain growth and unfavorable credit prospects.

The most difficult budget issue is transportation, and we have not made any final decisions. As you know, our second car was scheduled for replacement at the end of this school year, and we may decide to extend its service life. The reason we have not made a final decision is that repair costs required for this course of action are yet unknown. While this is potentially disappointing, keep in mind that our primary car still serves over 80% or our non-transit transportation needs. We committed to meeting those needs, and through a program of regular maintenance (that has not been cut), we have not had any unplanned downtime for a primary car in over 4 years. Additionally, thanks to successful strategic planning undertaken by the Board, we are uniquely situated for a suburban family to be able to utilize the MBTA as a safe, cost-effective option.

In the Travel and Entertainment category, you will find that fewer requests to eat in restaurants will be approved, and requests for desserts in restaurants, particularly, will not be approved (unless they are included in the cost of a kid’s meal). In the case of Cabot’s or The Cheesecake Factory, where ice cream or cheesecake, respectively, is kind of the point, sharing is strongly encouraged. An additional benefit of this will be improved health. Netflix has been put on hold for 90 days, and we will reconsider that offering then; unopened red envelopes left on top of the TV indicate a lack of demand at present. Newspaper and magazine subscriptions are subject to elimination as well. Executives, including myself, are being asked to purchase regular coffee in place of more expensive coffee drinks while traveling, and to utilize meals from our on-site food service provider whenever possible.

Charitable giving will continue, primarily to organizations to which we have supported on a regular annual basis, and new requests will be considered individually.

All major vacations, home improvements, and furniture purchases are temporarily put on hold, unless essential. Pre-approved food and clothing purchases can continue as needed and may be subject to increased budget scrutiny.

Lastly, note that we have no plans to add human resources. Requests for non-human resources (i.e., pets) may be considered in a future fiscal year.

The bottom line is that while the coming years may not be everything we want, we will stay together and have great stories to tell the grandkids.

Happy Thanksgiving.

If only my memo-writing skills could get me a job as a real CEO….

An article in Friday’s Jewish Advocate said that Star Market had been considering, but decided against, including a kosher butcher in their store being rebuilt in Chestnut Hill. The company didn’t comment on the plans in the article, citing only that they would be including a kosher bakery as part of balancing customer needs within the “footprint” of the store. The source for the article was Rabbi Mendy Uminer of Chabad Lubavitch of Chestnut Hill, who said had been in discussions with store management and he believed it was financial decision.

Of course, a kosher butcher, which would requires a whole second butcher operation, needs more room than a kosher bakery, where you are basically just certifying the same products you’d be selling anyway. The whole south of Newton seems to be under-served by grocery stores, probably a result of Newton zoning that makes it very difficult to build commercial structures as large as most new grocery stores, so it doesn’t seem like a problem specific to kosher-keeping Jews.

On a positive note: I noticed while shopping in Shaw’s in Newtonville yesterday the return of pre-packaged Empire kosher chicken along with Meal Mart kosher beef. A while back they switched exclusively to the Rubashkin’s brand, which has since gotten a lot of bad publicity for its labor practices. I’m not qualified to judge them, but I’d rather not buy a brand tainted by scandal. Still, a couple sections of pre-packaged meat really doesn’t compare in terms of price and selection to what you can get at a place like the Butcherie in Brookline.

I guess if Jews have waited thousands of years for a return to Zion and are still waiting for the Messiah, we can wait a bit longer for a place to buy kosher meat with adequate parking.

Moreover, they are not in the font and color we’ve come to associate with the candidates: McCain in the Optima font with a gold device on a navy blue background; Obama with his rising-sun-over-fields logo and heavy use of the Gotham font on a lighter blue background (although I realized while looking for an image to place above, his name is usually in a complementary serif font). So, I have to stop and think about it, and I think there must be a certain amount of human error that this causes.

We are used to this from store packaging - if you are looking for Tide you grab a bottle with certain shades of orange and yellow, and if the store-brand detergent wants to compete they make their package as close to the same shades as possible. Maybe candidates should be allowed to submit a logo and their names in a specific font. While it might seem like too much marketing, it might actually help ensure people vote for the candidate they intended.

Her practice is getting merged into an expanding Providence/Boston firm. As with many things in Hartford, you can be wildly successful, but you can never really compete with Boston or New York.

My mom started her career as an attorney in crowded government offices and end up in a corner office atop Hartford’s tallest skyscraper. Here are some of the things I remember: Once I got my license, I dropped her off at work sometimes to have the car after school. When I was a little older and came home to visit, we’d meet for lunch at the restaurant downstairs where important business people made deals (or whatever they do) over San Pellegrino. And, of course, we watched July 4th fireworks looking down at them from the 35th floor. I think I was exposed earlier than most of my peers were to working downtown, interacting with grown-up professionals, and to a little bit of how decisions are actually made in the business world, and this has given me a little more comfort with making grown-up decisions in my own life.

Recently I went to an urgent care appointment at a very large group medical practice. I was irritated by signs in the waiting room telling you to turn off your phone when you enter the building. There are many legitimate reasons to be on the phone in the waiting room:

• Your spouse dropped you off at the front door since your foot was hurt, and you need to tell him where to find you once he parks the car.
• You need to tell a babysitter that your appointment is running late.
• To tell your boss a family emergency has come up, you’re at the doctor, and you’ll miss that meeting it took two months to set up.
• You need support after a bad diagnosis. (Or, you got a good result and need to tell your mom to stop worrying.)

Whatever the reason, it’s more important to you than anything going on in the waiting room. Yes, you should respect other people waiting, but is being considerate to strangers really more important than showing respect to people you know by keeping them informed as you deal with a medical issue?

(Maybe this is “sign inflation”–they don’t care if everyone turns off their cell phones, so long as it keeps the volume down, and they can point to the sign if they have to tell someone to be quiet. Not my idea of compassionate care, though.)

There’s an idea that medicine is such a serious matter it must be more important than whatever you’re talking about; some hospitals have banned cell phone use for fear of radio interference with medical equipment. Today, major hospitals use mobile phones, and even WiFi, for communication among doctors and nurses, and recognize that patients and families need to keep in touch. As with anything, the technology isn’t the problem, it’s a question of how you use it.

An op-ed by Gary Hart in today’s New York Times expresses this better and with more experienced insight than I can.